Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
