Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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