That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
