My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize