You're completely useless in the revolution.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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