I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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