Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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