my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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