They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
