I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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