but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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