I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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