East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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