Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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