Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you traded sex for a burrito?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
