she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
