Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
