Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
