I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
PANTIES FOUND
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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