Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
