yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
