It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
