Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
