Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
