At least make sure they are 18
Why
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
