i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
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We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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