we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
