I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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