he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
