His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
