I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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