My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
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There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
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Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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