So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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