Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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