i was rollin on her like bob the builder
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i will never coherently bang her
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I did not marry a roomba.
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