All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
