A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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