Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize