you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
