Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
