That's when you crack a 10am beer
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
