Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize