i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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