Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
