Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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