You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
