Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
