mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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