Your tits are I can't wait for
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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