So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize