tell your sister to shave her snatch
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
