Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
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shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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