thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
