i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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