so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
