Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
