I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
