I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
