$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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