it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
