You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
