Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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