Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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