What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
