If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
